I admit I am sensitive about my children when it comes to words. I am delighted to talk about them in their cuteness and things they do that I find either fun, or interesting, or just particular to who they are. But I am really protective of their dignity. Part of that probably comes from their being so small and innocent, if you will.
But I want to remember this posture right now. I want to remember this when they're not so little anymore. When they start wanting that funny looking bedspread instead of the one I really wanted for them. When they start having opinions about religion and politics and I am not so sure if I agree. I want to remember how much I want to affirm them now, even in their smallest achievements. Right now I am full of "good job" and "way to go" and I want to remember this attitude when they make a "less than stellar" grade, even after doing their best. I want to guard my words about them even when my opinions are stronger. I want to encourage their individuality even if it doesn't always fit in with my categories. I want to guard my prayer requests for them when I'm in a small group of other moms and dads. Information dressed up as a prayer request doesn't make it information I should share. I don't want to forget that they need their privacy and just because I can talk about their eating and potty habits now doesn't mean I can talk about their struggles and difficulties later in an open forum.
I want to remember all this because I'm already noticing it's getting harder. I find myself blurting stuff out. And then I wish I could gather it up and shove it back down my throat. My children are people and people need a measure of respect, even when those people are under your authority. A person is a person no matter how small, right? Dr. Seuss knows what he is talking about.
Empathy is a must!
1 comment:
This is quite timely for me/ I had someone recently tell me that it seems I prefer Elliot because I almost never post about Charlotte on Facebook. I replied that Charlotte is of an age where her stories are hers to tell not mine. I will occasionally ask her if I can share something and simply respect her yes or no without comment.
Matt and I have also talked quite a bit about the idea of the kids being embarrassed or ashamed of the things we post about them when they are small. We do have some boundaries (no underwear or potty photos/stories and nothing that is truly embarrassing) but we feel like if they grow up to be people who are ashamed we posted their silly antics on FB, we've failed. We've taught them to be prideful and more concerned with how they look to others than with who they are.
That's obviously only one piece of things (we are currently dealing with watching how we talk about their behavior in front of them) and there are many factors to being respectful of their personhood. So I don't mean to imply this how we approach every aspect of that. Just that particular issue.
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