The Needy

A good word from Rachel Jankovic (which is borrowed, of course, from the Bible):

She says, "When you need, give."

This plays out fiercely in motherhood! I feel I am needed at all hours in one way or another. If I'm not needed directly, I'm at least "on call." My radar is up. My mental energy is being used. I love it on the one hand, but I'm only human on the other.

Anyway, sometimes I want my own needs to be more readily fulfilled. Instead of "when you need, give" it sounds better to say, "when you need, get fulfilled. or sulk. or complain. or withdraw. or make up excuses for why you don't give." Sometimes being needed can be draining. Someone needs you to visit more, to call more, to reach out more, to say more, to do more, to smile more, to talk less, to talk more, to give more, to listen better, to know more.

This "when you need, give" concept plays out everywhere I think. Is there ever a time in our lives where we can say, "I am entitled to this from Person A"? I imagine the older one gets, the more tempted one is to feel entitled. The older we get, the more we do, the more we could say, "I've paid my dues. Now it's my turn. Give to me." But I'm not sure if Love recognizes age.

Love knows no limit to its endurance.

What about the children? What about the husband? What about dear friends? What about mean girls? I've been the mean girl and I've been the prey of the mean girl. I'd rather be punched in the face (a direct blow without pretense) than be on the other end of a girl's meanness.

My flesh goes something like this: I want to do unto others. . .my husband, my children, my friends, my relatives. . .as they have done unto me. When they're nice, I'm nice back. When they're cold, I'm cold back. I'm hurt. I want to hurt back (but not too directly, of course, lest I be accused!). Passive aggression tempts me to shove passive aggression right back.

If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.

It's hard to face this as the word of Jesus. This is what he asks of me? Nay, he commands it.

Some relationships can't be fixed this side of heaven. I've come to accept that. But there is always room for more grace, even when a fracture must remain. 

When you need more time from someone, give your time.

When you need someone to reach out more, reach out to them.

When you need someone to be more verbally affirming, praise them.

You might not get any of it back, so give freely. 

Impossible suggestions, if I do say so myself. Impossible for me. But possible for Christ IN me.
I'm working through this stuff. It's hard to swallow. I don't want to hear some of it.  I must repeat it to myself.

When you need more time from someone, give your time.

When you need someone to reach out more, reach out to them.

When you need someone to be more verbally affirming, praise them.