The Conversation Game

A friend of mine told me about a game she plays with her children called the conversation game. I thought it was a great idea for helping your kids understand what "others-minded" conversations look like. I know I need help in this area, too.

This game is a way to help kids avoid the classic "hijack" that can easily take place in a conversation. Here's an example of a hijack:

Person A: "Hey, guess what?! I'm throwing a 30th birthday party for my husband next week. I am so looking forward to it!"
Person B: "Cool! My husband turned 30 last year! I took him out to dinner and my parents babysat our kids. Oh, and it was so cool. While we were at dinner, we had this new dessert we had never tried before. It was the most delicious molten lava cake. . ."

I'm not saying this is a bad thing in and of itself. I'm just saying it can be, if it's the reflex response: A story about you invokes a story about them.

But I do love the wonderful "Me, too!" aspect that spurs conversation on. This is the stuff of friendships. Similar likes and dislikes. Similar experiences or stages of life. Shared stories.

In the conversation example I just gave, I'm thinking the "me, too" would look more like Person B saying, "What a great idea to throw your husband a party! I LOVE parties!! What kind of food will ya'll be having there?" And then maybe Person B shares the story of her own later in the chat. Or maybe not at all. Whatever floats your boat, I guess. None of this is law, but just general musings, of course.

And now on to the conversation game. I should note that my friend has three kids so the premise of her conversation game involves three people. But of course, it could also be a two person conversation. The premise of the game is that the 1st person will say something they like (like to do, like to eat, like to think about or whatever, I suppose). The 2nd person will make a supportive statement that encourages what the 1st person said. And the 3rd person will ask a supportive question about the 1st person said.

So here's how the game goes (this is just an example):

Person 1: I love cupcakes!

Person 2: That's right! I saw you eating one the other day and you looked so happy!

Person 3: What's your favorite kind of cupcake?

Person 1: Pink with pink icing!

Person 2 and 3: Cool!

Then it's time for another person to act as Person 1. Get it? It a little structured and formatted, of course. It's set up as a game and games have formats. But it's meant to teach a real life lesson. I took Oral Communications in college and on the first day of class the teacher emphasized that listening is a skill. It takes some work and practice! Amen and amen.